Problem. Destroy. Disturbance. A little intense, am I right?
Disrupting the norm will create work for you, disturbing all you have believed to be true. Making a change that goes against the norm can be uncomfortable, challenging, awkward and will most likely have you doubting what you are embarking on.
Disrupting the norm will create problems for others, one that threaten their beliefs on who you are and what you should do. You will be questioned, criticized and have those closest to you wonder why in the world you would do such a thing.
Sometimes the structure of your life needs to be destroyed so you can build the life you want.
Disrupting the Norm is not for the weak of heart but on the other side is where the magic happens. It’s where you step into who you are and want you want for your life. It’s worth it.
If you are ready to disrupt the norm, let's chat. Email me today for a complimentary session with subject line "disruptor" at holly@hollykrivo.com.
“It was honestly so difficult, and it really shouldn’t have been. There were many tears and it was agonizing but I really think I knew all along the decision that I was meant to make. I just got derailed by society and expectations and the idea of ‘What if I’m missing something?’.”
Today’s episode features Elizabeth who started the facebook group Childfree World Travelers about 3 and 1/2 years ago. She thought she was a pretty big deal when her group reached 100. Today, the group has over 4,000 members with 11 moderators all over the World, sharing their travel tips, advice and stories. Elizabeth is a helper and connector at heart and understands the importance of seeing and supporting others whether through the meet ups she creates or the barre classes she teaches.
We talked about how this was Elizabeth's "coming out" as a childfree woman and the amazing feeling she had when she proclaimed her choice to be child free. We talked about how a feeling of being dismissed years ago for not having children still irks her and how its so important to Pay Attention in your life and not just go with the flow of big decisions.
Listen here! Message me at holly@hollykrivo.com with subject line "Childfree World Travelers" for a complimentary session.
Expectations. Typical. A required standard. Not a very inspiring way to live your life, am I right?
The norm can serve its purpose for a respectful, functioning society. How else do we know to wait our turn when exiting a plane (I don’t know who needs to hear this but just sit down and wait for your row).
The norm is so, well normal, that we don’t even question it and just accept it for what it is. We follow along with this script of what a life should look like for us even when our mind and heart tell us something else is out there better suited for us.
Disrupting the Norm takes a lot.
It takes clarity to stay focused on what it is you want.
It takes dedication to stay on the path when everything and everyone around you may be telling you different.
It takes courage to follow an untrekked path of which you may have never even seen anyone go down.
Disrupting the Norm takes a lot but the cost is well worth it to create the life you were born to live.
If you are tried of living by this definition and want to create your own way, I am here for you. Email me today for a complimentary session at holly@hollykrivo.com with subject line #disruptor.
Today’s episode is such a treat as I got to chat with fellow coach, inspirational being and friend Kristin Moses. Kristin, who i met through our coaching training program, is a confident, driven and energetically aligned woman who has created her own path as a childfree woman.
“I definitely consider myself to be a nurturer and motherly.If you talk to any of my friends or clients, they would always describe me as the caretaker, motherly or a guide. I’ve always known that is who I was but I also knew that having children would not be that outlet. There are so many other ways of nurturing, mothering and caring for people that can manifest in other ways than having a child. If it’s important for you to have your own child you should do it but if you don’t have it in you, it’s absolutely okay and there is so much you can do with your life if that’s what you value.”
We talked a lot about how honoring your truth will always give you the answers you need, how the idea that you have to have a child to mother is weak and what the dating scene has been like for Kristin as a childfree woman.
What I found so interesting but not surprising is despite being 100% in her decision to be childfree and creating a full life, she mentioned that several times throughout our conversation she thought “Is this okay to say?” Every single guest has spoken some version of this statement. It shows the stigma that so many women and men carry about their decision to be childfree. Every time we share a story, the stigma lessens.
Listen Today! If this resonates with you email me at holly@hollykrivo.com with subject line "C&G" for a complimentary session!
Happy 2020! Between the holidays, packing up our life in Austin, moving abroad and adjusting here in Norway I feel like today is the first of 2020. And I am READY for it!
As long as I can remember I have set goals for the New Year but this year felt a little different. Some are very clear to me. I want to travel as much as possible. I want to be healthy in mind and body. I want to grow my coaching business.
However, there is a lot of unknown right now. I want to embrace a new way of life while also honoring what is important to me. So along with setting goals that are key to my fulfillment, I am focusing on WHO I want to be. These “goals”are not check off the box I did it goals but reinforcing how I want to show up daily.
I am compassionate. I serve others.
I am courageous. I do things outside my comfort zone.
I am patient. I am patient with myself, Katie and a new way of life.
No matter what happens, I can wake up every morning with the intention to be these. After a day of having zero patience, I can wake up with a focused effort on patience or I can go do something that makes me uncomfortable after putting it off for days. I can work on being WHO I want to be every single day.
If you are in the place of clarifying what this year will look like for you or needing some accountability in these plans, lets chat. All my sessions are over the phone so it is business as usual for Holly Krivo Coaching. Book your complimentary session above TODAY!
Let’s make this a year of big change, one day at a time.
On today’s podcast the tables were flipped and I was interviewed by my coach. As I know the power in sharing our stories, it was important for me to share mine and why I love serving women who are looking to disrupt the norm and live they life they are called to do.
“I’m not in the business of talking people out of having kids but I do want to support women, who are navigating this decision or have made this decision but still carrying some of the societal expectations with them, to step boldly into their decision and create the life they dream for themselves.”
We talked about how my resume of dream jobs still left me searching for more,how despite always knowing I didn’t want kiddos it didn’t feel official until the past couple of years and what it looks like for women who are on the fence for this decision to make it once and for all. After the conversation my brain was racing with all the ways we (high-performers) struggle when we want to disrupt the norm of our life. From worrying about what others will think to how do i create this life that I don't see many examples of. It's challenging and uncomfortable and unknown but it's so worth it.
Even if you have kiddos or dream of having them, this is a helpful episode for anyone out there who is wanting to live their life off the beaten path and disrupt the “American Dream”.
Today on today's episode of Chill & Grace, I spend time with Raif and Connie how run the Goodlett Guide, a blog dedicated to their childfree relationships, travel and lifestyle.
“The most common one is ‘You’ll change your mind.’ I don’t get as many of the critiques in terms of ‘You’re selfish’ because its seen as ambitious. It’s permissible for me to focus on my career rather than focus on children which I don’t think is a luxury women get.”
I was drawn to their honesty of this married, childfree couple from London on their childfree life from joining the mile-high club to Raif's decision to get a vasectomy at 25 so that he could take control of his childfree future. Raif is the first male I have had on my podcast and brought such a new element to the conversation and to see the support they had for each other was inspiring. I know so many women out there are not as fortunate to find a partner who supports their decision.
We discussed the double standard men and women face being childfree, life as a childfree couple in London and how even though they run a blog on being childfree there are still those who believe they will have kids.
Listen today and let me know your thoughts at holly@hollykrivo.com.
In today’s episode, I spend time with Drunk Aunt Overseas who runs the IG page by the same name.
“When I say I don’t want kids people hear me say ‘You’re stupid for having kids’and that’s not even remotely what I said. I don’t want kids and that’s it.Somehow people see themselves in my shoes and take full offense to that. It’s a frustrating experience.”
Drunk Aunt Overseas is not just an instagram page ran by an awesome drunk aunt who loves to travel overseas but for over 4,000 followers is a platform of support, inspiration and community for childfree women. I was immediately drawn to her page for its positive messages, humor and capacity to share her joy of being childfree.
By her providing a platform and encouraging conversation so many women and men are able to share their story for often times the first time ever. As a coach this is so important for me to see the childfree have a place to tell their story and see they aren’t alone.
We discussed the importance of supporting the choice of ALL women to have kids or not, our biggest triggers we have when talking to those who question our decision to be childfree and how she is intentional in creating a platform that does not pit us vs. them so that choices can be discussed respectfully.
Listen on Spotify today and send me a message on your thoughts to holly@hollykrivo.com.
There’s a common misconception that the holidays are easy breezy for the childfree and while yes there are some perks like no waiting in line for Santa pics or spending 100s of dollars on gifts never played with, this is not always the case. Check out three ways to take charge of your holidays so you can thrive in joy as a childfree woman!
1. Manage Expectations and Obligations
The stress of the holidays often boils down to two things, expectations and obligations. The expectations you set for yourself and the obligations you feel from others. Unrealistic expectations and unspoken obligations leave us feeling stressed and frustrated.
Are you expected to travel every holiday because you don’t have the extra burden of kiddos?
Are you expecting a holiday like the ones on TV or you grew up with but fall short every year?
Are you expected to do more of the work every year since you have “more time” ?
Do a full scan of all the expectations and obligations you are feeling around the holiday. What expectations are unrealistic and no longer serve you? Let them go. Which obligations are you ready to no longer carry? Have that conversation. Make the change.
2. Set Boundaries
Boundaries are the ultimate act of self-care. Setting them for yourself and with others will help you stay charged and in control of the Holidays.
Is it limiting social media so you can stay focused on your joy and not be distracted by others?
Is it setting a financial budget so you enter into 2020 with no holiday debt ?
Is it having the chat with a family member that your child making decision will NOT be up for discussion?
Create the boundary that will serve you best. Honor it.And move on like a boss!
3. Create Traditions
Take the trip.
Treat yourself to a nice dinner.
Spend all day watching Christmas movies, drinking eggnog.
Or do nothing at all!
Whatever it is that lights you up, make it a priority during the holidays. You don’t need kids or the “traditional” family to set meaningful traditions. Make the Holidays YOUR OWN.
And here’s the thing at the end of the day, if the Holidays aren’t a big deal for you CARRY ON! They don’t have to be and that’s okay! You have 365 days to live your life to the fullest so don’t bank a years worth of happiness on one or two days.
As a coach who works with childfree women on stepping boldly into their choice of being childfree it has always been important for me to showcase women doing just that. To show women out there who are either struggling with the decision or have maybe not seen examples of living a childfree like, that it can be done and it can be done WELL.
I can share the stories I hear but what better way to show this than straight from the mouth of childfree boss ladies so I created the podcast Chill &Grace, the lifestyle podcast for childfree women chilling in their truth and gracefully inspiring others to do the same.
My first guests are two best friends, Blair and Whitney.They are business owners who met in in Lubbock, at a time when everyone was having kiddos and they were not living the norm.
I felt like I was a fly on the wall as two best friends shared their joys and struggles of being childfree. I know it can be isolating for so many women out there who make this decision so it was so nice to see two best friends making the same choice and supporting each other through not only this decision but in all the other ways they do.
We talked about the “Must be Nice” guys, being left out of mom meet ups and being okay with that and how they have come to respond to the intrusive questions or rude comments on their choice to not have children.
One of my favorite parts was when one of the ladies mentioned how this was one of the first times she has actually spoken about this as a CHOICE not something that just happened and how empowered she felt by speaking her truth.
In the past 48 hours I have heard two different features on NPR, one on children who have lost their parents to addiction and the other on women who were sexually assaulted in the workplace.
The children wrote letters to addiction, full of anger at the addiction and sadness for their loss.
The women confronted a man who was not their assaulter but had been convicted of an assault. He felt called to help these women.
I was in awe of their courage, their heart and their honesty.Their stories will stick with me for a long time.
One thing that was so clear to me was through being heard, these children and women felt seen for who they were. To lessen the burden of carrying their story and pain, they spoke their truth and were heard. Their pain, while still strong and always a part of their life, felt a little less heavy.
Our stories need to be heard no matter how dirty they may seem. We need to be seen for the rawness of who we are. Until then we cannot be free.
What is it that you need to speak out into the Universe so that you can feel free? Coaching can help. It allows you to be heard in a safe and non-judgmental place. It helps you hold a mirror to yourself to see where your growth can be while at the same time helps you create the you that you’ve always wanted to be. I will be eternally grateful for the progress I have made through coaching and will be forever changed.
Let’s chat.
