“The idea of sobriety is not a one size fits all. It has to be what works for you and at the end of the day you feel good about yourself, your life and you're doing what's right for you.”
Today’s Sober·ish Uprising guest is Staci who when we met said she has been 4 years sober but some may not consider her sober. I had no idea what would come out of her mouth next. She said there are some in sobriety who think if you don’t complete the 12 steps of AA or have an non-alcoholic drink every once in a while you aren’t sober.
Wait what? This blew my mind and reinforced why we need to continue to have these conversation about what sobriety looks like because we all have to create our own path.
In today’s episode we talk about,
- How despite knowing she had a problem, she made the excuse that until her sober husband recognized she had a problem it wasn't that bad.
- How the thought of Italy without booze was a myth but now she knows that she can do all she ever wanted but it will just be so much better.
- How sobriety sucked at the beginning and it wasn't all rainbows and puppies but it was the small wins like watching a movie sober with her kids that kept her going.
Where to find me: www.instagram.com/soberishuprising
Where to find Staci:
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Listen here on Apple Podcasts or watch on Youtube.
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This may have gotten lost last week but did you know I set a world wide record? Can you believe it?
Granted it was just for my little world but potatoe potato.
Last Friday marked the longest I have gone without a drink since well I probably started drinking in college.
117 days.
I am so stinkin proud.
On Saturday I intentionally had a glass and a half of wine with amazing friends on a little weekend getaway, waking up the next morning feeling physically and mentally good about my decision.
I am so stinkin proud.
It’s not that I wasn’t tempted during those 117 days to have a drink. In fact I had several instances where I really wanted to partake. Date night. Birthday. Weekend with friends. I just wanted the clarity, confidence, energy and to be sober more.
I'll continue my sober·ish journey, go on another streak and be proud of the ones I make and break.
What’s a personal world wide record you want to set?
“When I talk about being sober·ish, I am talking about me really paying attention to how I am paying attention to me. It’s a choice, not a label.”
Today’s episode is with my dear friend Dana Kaplan who shares how sober·ish not only applies to booze but to food, exercise and other things that we can use as a coping mechanism.
Sober·ish? Sober curious? I want to hear from you! Email me at holly@hollykrivo.com.
Listen here on Apple Podcasts or watch on Youtube.
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My brother was the first person in my life that I was close to that I saw choose sobriety and do it as a power move. It felt like it came out of nowhere but also not as I knew he wanted more for his life He quit drinking on February 6, 2020, a month after he moved into our house to take care of it and our two pupsters while we lived abroad and a month before the world shut down. He knew it was an opportunity he had to move on.
Brent has been my biggest supporter and inspiration along my sober·ish journey and I know I am not alone. In today’s episode of Sober·ish Uprising we chatted on:
Thanks for tuning in and if you like this episode, please share with a friend or leave review! Help us make sober·ish uprise!
Listen here on Apple Podcasts or watch on Youtube.
On a podcast last week, we discussed the social pressure of drinking and also how there seems to always be a reason to drink.
For years I didn’t honor myself and change my relationship with booze because there was always something coming up.
There will always be parties, perfect spring days, cold winter nights, good days, bad days, Tuesdays.
This past weekend we went out of town for a friend’s celebration and I knew there would be drinking throughout the weekend.
I chose to stay sober this weekend and here is what helped me do that.
1. Communicate - I let them know that I wouldn’t be drinking so I could be the DD. They all know my sober·ish journey so not a surprise but setting the stage that I wouldn't be drinking days before I got there was helpful.
2. Prepare - I packed my AF Surely sparkling wines and a couple of HiYos. I had sparkling waters as well. At the bar I ordered a mocktail and had sparkling water in hand the rest of the time. Failure to plan is planning to fail. It’s my responsibility and only mine to ensure I am set up for success.
3. Self Leadership - I was one of the first to leave on Friday night and turned in early on Saturday night. Once I hit the point of being done for the evening, I removed myself from the situation. I didn't make a scene or force others to shut down but I didn’t stay to make others feel okay and put me in a place of resentment. This is something I have always been pretty good at but I am diligent about it when sober.
It’s never a good time and it’s always a good time to find freedom from booze.
If you are waiting for the perfect time to quit, you’ll be waiting for the rest of your life. And you deserve better than that.
I didn’t lose weight when I quit drinking.
It kind of surprised me and if I’m honest I was a little disappointed when it didn’t happen. Side note: Not changing my diet and allowing freedom with food while quitting drinking served me greatly.
People ask all the time, “Did you lose weight?”, and I cringe a little inside every time they do. Maybe a tad bit out of embarrassment but mostly because losing weight would have been the least impactful thing that happened when I quit regularly drinking.
Also I hate that question comes 100% of the time from women. But that’s a rant against the patriarchy for another day.
I didn’t lose weight AND gained so much more.
Freedom. Confidence. Independence.
That felt better than seeing any number drop on the scale.
Quitting to lose weight isn’t a bad thing but it’s not the only thing.
I had a conversation with someone last week about how they did Dry January and felt great but were unsure of how to move forward.
They didn’t want to fall back into their old drinking habits but also were not committed to sobriety for life.
Here’s the thing. They very well may fall right back into old habits.
30 days is an amazing start to redefining your relationship with alcohol AND it takes more than that to change years of patterns.
There’s a reason America has a drinking problem. Alcohol is highly addictive and highly accepted.
So if you are someone who did Dry January and unsure what to do next, it’s totally normal to feel that way.
Here are my tips for those of you who are feeling great after Dry January and are unsure how to proceed.
1. Extend your sober·ish experiment - Add on 10 days, 14 days, another month. Commit to that and allow yourself to say on that day you’ll decide what the next chapter looks like for you. You can do anything for 30 days.
2. Redirect your focus - If all we focus on is the punishment of not drinking, we won't change. Instead think of what you are gaining. How are you sleeping? What is your energy like? How is your anxiety? How does your body feel? Refocusing and collecting that data helps build the case for what's next. I always suggest journaling and capturing that data for reflection.
3. Plan Ahead - Dinner with friends. Check out the restaurant menu and see if they have AF options. If they don’t, have a plan of what you’ll drink. Bring your own special drink to someone’s house. Shoot a text beforehand letting people know you won’t be drinking. Stock your house with sparkling waters, mocktails, lemonades etc. These are all things I have done and currently do.
If you want to extend Dry January, you know that it feels amazing to take a break from drinking. We don’t have to commit for life but we can commit to another 7, 14, 30 days to continue to see how we want to move forward.
Today marks a full year of my soberish journey.
365 Days. 32 drinks.
A year ago today I woke up feeling like doggy doo (proof in photo) after a girls weekend where there was rose at the pool, wine at dinner and gin and tonics for a nightcap. On the drive home, the amount of judgment and self-loathing was all-consuming. Not unlike most days where I drank.
For years I had questioned how much I drank. I never got out of control. I never damaged relationships. I never abandoned responsibilities.
I didn’t “have a problem”.
But I did.
Because I spent so many mornings that turned into days thinking “Why did I have that second glass of wine?”.
I spent so much energy stopping, restarting, stopping again. I spent more time recuperating than thriving.
All the while knowing that it would serve me to do something different. Honestly I think that was the worst part, ignoring the truth that I knew.
Alcohol had a leading role in my life and it was a terrible actor.
It may be cliche but if I can do it you can do it.
32 drinks over a year sounds like a lot but when I look back I could easily consume that in a month or two. Ick. That one feels embarrassing to say.
I am not sure what the journey ahead looks like but I do know the role that booze once had in my life is over. It’s too good of a story without it.
I'll be sharing daily over the next week on the lessons I learned, why I chose soberish over sober and my busted excuses and misconceptions. If you have even an inkling of wanting to do things with me, I hope you’ll keep a look out.
Our brain is a wild thing.
We can remember a state pledge of allegiance from elementary school, “I salute the flag of the state of New Mexico” but also forget the name of that one person that works at the one company that you emailed yesterday.
We will focus on the one negative thing we may have done years ago and cast away the greatness we did today.
Today marks day 254 of my soberish journey. In those 254 days I have had 15 drinks.
I have said no thank you to drinks at weddings, happy hours and fancy hotel bars with friends. I have said yes please to a glass of wine on my birthday and while making bolognese on a Sunday afternoon.
And to be honest I feel really good and really proud.
AND I still find myself saying “Is that good enough?” “Does this really count?” “Wouldn’t it be a better looking number if it was one a month?”
How easily I forget that I used to easily consume that amount in 14 days.
How easily I forget that alcohol used to be a big part of my life and now I rarely think about it.
How easily I forget that I managed some big life stuff totally sober.
Yall. That is freaking awesome. The Holly who started this journey 254 days ago would be high-fiving and back flipping (if she could) over this.
So here's to celebrating the progress we have made and not letting our brains get in the way.
Go home brain. You're drunk.
Today I am joined by my dear friend Eli. We met around 17 years ago at work, him a newly graduated pastor who knew it all and me newly out full of mistrust.
What could go wrong? He was one of the first guests I knew I had to have because what we did 17 years ago was what I want to do with this platform. Have conversations with people you may not understand on topics you may feel fearful about, judgment of or are curious about.
We talk about how preconceived ideas of who the other was when we met, the power of being inquisitive over holding an inquisition and how him questioning his faith not only helped him find greater faith but also opened him up to a a world of possibilities.
In today's Question Everything, I expand more on my grief journey with my father.
I share that if I had to boil all the complications down to to one thing what it would be, the transformational experience that led me to a question that changed everything and how being aware in my body is a guiding light to how I am coping.
Self-healing and growth isn't for the weak but its worth it. We know better.
We do better. We do better. We know better. Rinse and repeat. I want to hear from you.
What are you working on healing?
What are you deciding to no longer make a thing?
Watch Today!
Relationships are complicated. Grief is complicated. And together well complicated.
In the inaugural episode of Question Everything my brother and I question where we are in the grief process after our dad passed away a little over a month ago.
Brent shares his compassion for our dad and a reminder that its called “parenting” not “perfecting” and I share how I am grieving for so many different versions of who my dad was and who he wasn’t.
I am by no means an expert on grief but I do know the power of speaking my truth. And that when I do others may not feel alone. If you found this episode helpful and/or want to be notified of future episodes subscribe today.
